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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “maybe the greatest honor in the world, quite frankly,” Donald J. Trump said on Wednesday that the International Criminal Court in The Hague has invited him to receive an award.

“They said it was in response to things I’ve done as president,” Trump told reporters. “It will probably be some kind of medal or maybe a gleaming gold trophy.”

Trump revealed that he will not be The Hague’s sole honoree, noting, “They also invited Pete. They said he deserves special recognition.”

Calling The Hague invitation “much better than a stupid Nobel,” Trump quipped, “They never invited Obama!”

As corporate media bend their knee to our deranged wannabe dictator, I have never been more grateful that I don’t work for one of these craven companies. I work for you.

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