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QUEENS, NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what has become a Veterans Day tradition for him, on Tuesday Donald J. Trump laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist.
Trump made his annual pilgrimage to pay homage to the heroic doctors who issued bogus diagnoses to ensure that their privileged patients never answered the call of duty.
In an emotional tribute, Trump thanked the fallen foot specialists who bravely risked their medical licenses so that others facing military service could be free.
Choking back tears, he said, “They gave everything so people like me could give nothing.”
TBR Salutes an American Hero
This Veterans Day, let’s salute a true American hero, Capt. Dylan Blaha. He served our country in combat. Now he is serving us by standing up to Donald Trump, refusing to be deployed as a National Guard member against the American people. You can watch my full interview with Dylan here.
READ: How This Shitshow Ends
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Right after the nightmarish 2024 election, I made some predictions about how Trump 2.0 would crash and burn. What did I get right and what did I miss? Read here.
As corporate media bend their knee to our deranged wannabe dictator, I have never been more grateful that I don’t work for one of these craven companies. I work for you.
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