Trump struggles to be heard over the boos while an unidentified inebriated man looks on. (Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that tests the limits of presidential power, on Wednesday Donald J. Trump ordered ICE agents to arrest the 67,000 football fans who booed him at Sunday’s Washington Commanders game.
“This should never be allowed to happen in this country,” Trump said, adding that the booing fans “were paid by Soros.”
Justifying his use of immigration agents, Trump accused all those who booed him of being in a Venezuelan drug cartel.
Elaborating on his claim, Trump said, “Despite our successful air strikes off the coast of Venezuela, somehow 67,000 of these criminals got through.”
READ: How This Shitshow Ends
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Right after the nightmarish 2024 election, I made some predictions about how Trump 2.0 would crash and burn. What did I get right and what did I miss? Read here.
As corporate media bend their knee to our deranged wannabe dictator, I have never been more grateful that I don’t work for one of these craven companies. I work for you.
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