Photo by Vinicius Löw

Several years ago, at a cocktail reception in an upscale Upper East Side New York apartment, a very tan and energetic middle-aged man approached me. “Who are you?” he asked. Glancing at his open shirt with a prominent gold chain, Rolex watch, and the large cigar he was puffing, I replied; “I’m a poor intellectual’ so there’s no point in talking to me.”

I understood that he – whom I refer to as The Cigar – came up to me because he thought I could help him make money. I answered in the negative because I understood that there could be no possible financial deal between us. He quickly walked away; there was no further reason for him to chat with me. I had no hard feelings when he left. Our very short conversation was just hard New York reality.

Donald Trump is The Ultimate Cigar, as the Swiss are discovering. When he proposed imposing a 39% tariff on Swiss goods such as watches, machinery, and precision instruments, the Swiss government tried its best to change his position. The Swiss President called President Trump, only to have a disastrous result – Karin Keller-Sutter apparently lectured him (unnamed sources said she tried to “moralize” him) and didn’t stop talking even after receiving a message during the call from someone close to Trump imploring her to stop.

Trump summarized the call as follows: “The woman was nice, but she didn’t want to listen, and they paid essentially no tariffs.” The President of the United States talking to the President of Switzerland was like the New York Cigar talking to me, except the Swiss President didn’t understand how Cigars do business. (To illustrate the level of the lack of communication, Trump later incorrectly referred to the Swiss President as the Prime Minister of Switzerland.)

The Swiss Economics Minister, also the Vice President, later went to Washington to try to repair the damage. Guy Parmelin met with several members of the U.S. Government who deal with trade, such as Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, and Trade Representative Jamieson Greer. But Parmelin didn’t see The Ultimate Cigar. There were no concrete results in lowering the 39% tariffs since all important U.S. decisions are made by The Ultimate Cigar.

Finally, Swiss Cigars met The Ultimate Cigar in the Oval Office. No transatlantic telephone calls. No meetings with minor leaguers and translators (Parmelin’s English is very limited.). Marwan Shakarchi, MKS Pamp; a representative of Diego Aponte, MSC; Jean-Frédéric Dufour, Rolex; Johann Rupert, Richemont; Alfred Gatner, Partners Group; and Daniel Jaeggi, Mercuria all had the undivided attention of The Ultimate Cigar in the ultimate meeting room. The scene, captured by photographers, was The Ultimate Cigar talking to the highest level Swiss Cigars around the Resolute Desk, each asking the other; “What can you do for me?”

Forget diplomatic niceties. Forget formal protocols. No translators were needed among the Cigars. The setting in the Oval Office was the Art of the Deal in all its New York City real estate assumptions. Cigar meets Cigar, with their own set of rules – which included tributes to the Ultimate Cigar of a Rolex gold-plated desk clock and a dedicated gold ingot. A Swiss paper described the meeting as a “feudal court.”

Historically, Dollar diplomacy referred to extending American influence using economic leverage through U.S. investment in foreign countries, especially during the presidency of William Taft (1909-1913). But the new Dollar Diplomacy, Trump style, is only about dollars and cents, or Swiss francs if you prefer. No influence or leverage is involved, just money. The new Dollar Diplomacy is blatantly Cigar Diplomacy – “What’s in this for me?” “What can you do for me?”

There is no room for the public in Cigar Diplomacy, no room for democratically elected officials, altruism or serving the common good. What some refer to as the Greed Economy has taken over the U.S. Government, and it’s metastasizing. Swiss business leaders are now replacing Swiss public leaders. The historic Sister Republics have become Cigar-smoking Sisters. If the Swiss President and Vice-President were unsuccessful in reducing tariffs, they were unofficially replaced by those closest to the modus operandi of The Ultimate Cigar. The White House – “the people’s house” – has become an exclusive club for Cigars.

Not all Swiss were pleased with having Swiss Cigars replace government officials. The head of the Swiss Green Party said the Oval Office meeting was “a rejection of democracy.” A leading Socialist declared that “the government has abandoned its role. We take the risk of sacrificing the public good for the interests of companies.”

The Swiss Federal Council, on the other hand, prudently acknowledged the business leaders’ private initiative, fully recognizing that they had failed and had no Plan B. As for Trump’s feelings about his meeting with the Cigars, he wrote: “It was a great honor for me to meet high-level representatives from Switzerland.” All Cigars puff the same smoke.

The hard cash reality is that the patrons of Swiss business had access to the Oval Office because they spoke the language of The Ultimate Cigar. “They went to do business and used the same language as Trump,” a representative of the Swiss Employers’ Union commented.

The Swiss people and their official representatives were not in that ecosystem. When I told the original Cigar that he shouldn’t waste time with me, I understood the rules of that game.

The Swiss President and Vice President didn’t (don’t?) understand Trump’s Cigar Diplomacy. The Swiss Cigars do. “It looks like CEOs can cut through better than federal councillors. . . [the Swiss] are playing their strongest card,” observed a professor at a Swiss business school. Rumors have Trump reducing the 39% tariffs to 15% after the meeting.

Welcome, dear Swiss, to the world of American Cigar Diplomacy.

The post A Tale of the Cigar, Donald Trump and Cigar Diplomacy appeared first on CounterPunch.org.

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