“Packed with a hundred grams of protein, the PunchMax Protein PowerBowl redefines what food can be. It’s mostly pieces of chicken liver strewn about on a bed of raw tuna arranged over a layer of bulgogi beef perched atop a pile of kinda damp deli turkey slathered with cashew butter and swimming in a puddle of raw milk. All of which is served in our fully recyclable cardboard bowl. It is sopping wet and dripping—with power. Also, it kind of looks like throw-up. PROTEIN throw-up. So carry this waterlogged container back to your desk to harvest all the energy you need to eat it at your desk. Feel the power coursing through your veins and watch a YouTube video about how running a SaaS B2B sales business is just like running the Roman Empire, while you also scroll Carrie’s Instagram on the burner account you made so she’d accept your follow request.”

Oh man, this is fantastic!

I’m reminded fondly of TheOnion article from years ago : Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades