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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump exploded with rage on Thursday after gold paint peeled off his FIFA Peace Prize, White House sources revealed.
The regrettable incident occurred in the Oval Office as Trump was celebrating his recent pardon of the former Honduras President and convicted drug kingpin Juan Orlando Hernández.
As Trump lifted the trophy to show it off to Hernández, flakes of gold paint cascaded to the ground, causing Trump to roar, “Peace Prize? More like piece of shit!”
Attempting to appease Trump, FIFA released a statement stressing that they had used “only the highest quality gold paint, like that used on the Oval Office, the new White House ballroom, and your hair.”
A Cognitive Test for Trump
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Donald J. Trump’s incoherent outbursts, drooping face, and mid-sentence naps have sparked widespread alarm about his steep mental decline.
As a public service, TBR is offering the following cognitive exam to assess Trump’s acuity. For the sake of the nation and the world, we urge him to take this test.
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