Drew Angerer/Getty Images
GREENVILLE, DELAWARE (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Joe Biden said on Wednesday that “he can’t wait” for Jake Tapper to publish a scathing book about Donald J. Trump’s glaring mental decline.
“Jake hasn’t announced that he’s working on a book like that, but I’ll bet you anything he is,” Biden said. “He’s the master of this genre.”
Given Trump’s innumerable episodes of slurred speech, incoherent ramblings, and daytime narcolepsy, Biden predicted that “Jake must be writing one helluva long book.”
“I was feeling kind of sorry for Trump when I pictured him reading Jake’s book,” the former president said. “But then I remembered that he can’t read.”
Hegseth Haiku Contest Winner!
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images
Thanks to the hundreds of readers who entered TBR’s Hegseth Haiku Contest! The winner is Wis, who submitted this inspired poem:
Gin, scotch and whiskey
On my bowl of Rice Krispies:
The sounds of battle.
The Borowitz Report is published thanks to the support of readers like you.
From The Borowitz Report via this RSS feed