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Photo: Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images

Every now and then, President Donald Trump holds a press conference that gets extra, well, extra. On Monday morning, Trump assembled the press and his top administration officials to showcase him signing some very Trumpian executive orders against flag burning and cashless bail. Then he took questions from reporters and said so many other weird and wacky and troubling things that we’ve decided to make a quick guide.

“I’m not a dictator”

Trump suggested his threat to deploy the National Guard to Chicago, against the wishes of Illinois governor JB Pritzker, wasn’t authoritarian at all:

Trump: I have a slob, like Pritzker, criticizing me. They say he’s a dictator, he’s a dictator. A lot of people are saying maybe we like a dictator. I’m not a dictator. I’m a man with great common sense. I’m a smart person pic.twitter.com/a7z8iJVDhL

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

The open-trunk wasteland of Beverly Hills

Trump: "Beverly Hills… I have friends, they leave their trunk open for their car bc they know they’re going to be vandalized. They don’t want the trunk ripped off in order for them to steal what’s in their bag. They leave their doors open so when they go in to steal the radio… pic.twitter.com/sYDC3Mp8MU

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025

The violence of the carp

Trump: “We have a very pretty violent fish that has, uh, comes from China. China carp, Chinese carp. And uhhhhh you see them jumping out – they jump into boats and they jump all over the place. They have a lot of energy.” pic.twitter.com/0lfiKe2gD8

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025

Maryland governor Wes Moore called him the “greatest president”

Trump’s “sir” stories work much better when they are about imagined people:

lol https://t.co/QkU0mGGfw7

— Wes Moore (@iamwesmoore) August 25, 2025

Soon, drug companies will be paying you to take their medication

Trump: We’re going to be doing numbers on the cost of drugs in this country. I’m not talking about a 20% decrease, I’m talking about a 1000% decrease. pic.twitter.com/p981JOXLl6

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

Trump: I’m going to be reducing drug prices by 1400-1500% pic.twitter.com/27r2uZvTYm

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

Now it’s 10 wars he’s stopped

At this rate, Trump will have stopped 100 wars by the end of the year.

Trump: “We’re stopped seven wars, and really the number is actually 10. We’re not including a couple.” pic.twitter.com/P0vJRpDDbg

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025

He loves Black people — just ask Africa

Trump: “I love Black people.” pic.twitter.com/sbLas9X7MS

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025

And he didn’t actually end that war, by the way.

Make the Department of Defense ‘War’ again

Trump doesn’t just love counting the wars he supposedly ended, he also loves the word war. He said he doesn’t want to be “defense” anymore and indicated he thinks the Defense Department should be renamed the Department of War. Defense secretary Pete Hegseth enthusiastically responded that the name change was “coming soon.”

“I don’t want to be defense only. We want offense too” – Trump says he wants to change the name of the Department of Defense back to the Department of War pic.twitter.com/7TMVbRUIYs

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025

Almost nobody knows Kim Jong-un better

Trump: “I have a very good relationship with Kim Jong Un. North Korea. I look forward to seeing him. I know him better than anybody almost, other than his sister. His sister knows him pretty well.” pic.twitter.com/6YtmSxSVge

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025

D.C. residents are wearing their watches again, Stephen Miller says

Finally, the capital’s expensive watches have been liberated from their safes and are back where they belong: on the wrists of people Stephen Miller knows.

Stephen Miller on DC residents: “For the first time in their lives, they can use the parks, they can walk on the streets. You have people who can walk freely at night without having to worry about being robbed or mugged. They are wearing their watches again.” pic.twitter.com/Ln4ahovZcA

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025

Trump called Pritzker a fat slob

He called the Illinois governor a slob before offering thoughts on not being a dictator. He also said “he ought to spend more time in the gym.”

Trump: We hate to be treated horribly by bad politicians, like a guy like Pritzker, he ought to spend more time in the gym. He is a disaster. Gavin Newsom is a disaster. I had to break into the water supply to let the water come down. pic.twitter.com/TqcCejYVxF

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

And he said the DOJ might investigate Christie, whom he also called a slob, over Bridgegate

It was open season on governors who criticize Trump, and no stone of an old scandal will be left unturned:

Reporter: Do you plan to investigate Chris Christie? Trump: Look, Chris is a slob. I always felt he was guilty. If they want to look at it, they can. pic.twitter.com/jWLGNMd75f

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

Trump got an honorary badge and a handcuff key

The president loves symbolic gifts, and the director of the U.S. Marshals Service came prepared:

“We thought it was only appropriate to present you with honorary US marshal service badge” pic.twitter.com/b5edbwgpKZ

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

He’s loves solid gold

Trump: This is a solid gold trophy. They know how to get to me pic.twitter.com/b9DnTBPrvF

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

‘Let’s all do magnets’

Later Monday, at Trump’s White House press conference with South Korean president Lee Jae-myung, he offered his thoughts on the need for magnets:

Trump: They have to give us magnets. If they don’t, we have to charge them a 200% tariff or something… Nobody needed magnets until they convinced everybody 20 years ago “Let’s all do magnets.” pic.twitter.com/cQS3evZf2H

— Acyn (@Acyn) August 25, 2025

But Trump didn’t ask the most important question, did he?

This post has been updated.

What You Missed at Trump’s Extra-Weird Press Conference

What You Missed at Trump’s Extra-Weird Press Conference