Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering comment on Friday, House Speaker Mike Johnson accused participants in Saturday’s No Kings protests of “blatantly exercising their First Amendment rights.”
“When the framers of the Constitution wrote the First Amendment, they did not intend people to take it literally,” Johnson said. “And yet, that is precisely what the far-left lunatics and Antifa members are conspiring to do.”
Johnson said that he and his fellow Republicans would push for a repeal of the First Amendment to “prevent it from being exploited by evildoers in the future.”
“We’d be so much better off without the First Amendment,” he said. “The Second Amendment would move up to No. 1, which is where it belongs.”
Come to My Virtual No Kings Event!
Kamil Krzaczynski/Getty Images for No Kings
To bring together the entire TBR community, I’m hosting a special No Kings live chat on Saturday. It’ll be a chance to share our observations and stories throughout this historic day and connect with each other in solidarity, defiance, and hope.
To enable as many people as possible to join the chat, I’m slashing the price of annual TBR paid subscriptions by 40% through Saturday.
40% Off Annual TBR Subscription
For only $30 a year, you’ll get all the benefits of a paid subscription: not just live chats like the one on Saturday, but all the premium Sunday posts, every episode of my podcast, and—best of all—the ability to leave and read comments on every column. Join our community! ♥️
40% Off Annual TBR Subscription
From The Borowitz Report via this RSS feed