Vast crowds gathered on the National Mall to admire the Trump Monument, March 30, 2029. Photo: TNS (Trump News Service)

Washington D.C., March 30, 2029

Tourists gathered on the National Mall in record numbers this week to admire the newly unveiled Trump Monument. Originally erected in 1884 to honor a little-known American president, the 555-foot-tall granite and marble obelisk has been gilt in tasteful celebration of President-for-Life Trump. The monument is just the latest project undertaken to honor His Majesty, following renovation campaigns at the White House, National Gallery, and (former) Lincoln Memorial. The combined cost of the projects, estimated at some $1 billion, was generously covered by Trump himself out of U.S. Treasury funds.

According to Capitol police, Sunday’s 100,000 visitors was the second largest single day crowd ever to convene on the National Mall, exceeded only by the President-For-Life’s first inauguration. All guests received a free, gold-toned commemorative Trump coin after paying the $100 admission fee. When asked why she attended, Sadie Loveswag of Ocala, Florida said: “After seeing what he did with that old Lincoln thing, and now this, I felt I just had to come and thank His Majesty for making our monuments great again. MMGA!”

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