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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The US Navy struck a superyacht carrying Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, Ginni, as it cruised off the coast of Venezuela, the Pentagon confirmed on Sunday.
As Navy divers searched for the Thomases, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth called the sinking of the 160-foot-long luxury vessel “an honest mistake.”
“When you’re going after narcoterrorists, every now and then you’re going to hit a Supreme Court justice,” he said.
At the White House, Donald Trump took a break from surveying demolition of the East Wing to comment on Thomas, stating, “He had a good run.”
As corporate media bend their knee to our deranged wannabe dictator, I have never been more grateful that I don’t work for one of these craven companies. I work for you.
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